Overcoming Fear & Anxiety In Difficult Situations (with transcripts)
Michele Molitor is the founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting Inc., and co-author of the best-selling book “Breakthrough Healing.” She works with executives and entrepreneurs bringing over 25 years of experience, intuitive insights and strategic business savvy to their success.
Michele’s unique Rapid RewiringTM approach is a culmination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence, neuroscience, organizational psychology and Rapid Transformational Therapy.
Frank Samson: Well, welcome to Boomers Today. I'm your host, Frank Samson. Of course, each week we bring you important, useful information on issues facing baby boomers, their parents, and other loved ones. We have another, a wonderful guest with us. Her name is Michele Molitor, who is a founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting, Incorporated and coauthor of the best selling book, Breakthrough Healing. She works with executives and entrepreneurs bringing over 25 years of experience, intuitive insights, and strategic business savvy to their success. Michele's unique Rapid Rewiring approach is a combination of years of study in the realms of emotional intelligence, neuroscience, organizational psychology, and rapid transformational therapy. Michele, thank you so much for joining us on Boomers Today.
Michele Molitor:Hey Frank, I'm so delighted to be here with you. Thanks for having me on your show.
Frank: Yeah, this is great. Such an important subject matter. So, I mentioned Rapid Rewiring in the introduction. Tell us a little bit more about Rapid Rewiring and how that works.
Michele: Sure. So I've been a coach now for over 18 years. I'm a bit of a learning junkie, I'll admit it, and I'm always looking for better ways to improve ourselves, and to get out of our own way what I lovingly call the junk in your trunk that gets in your way and holds you back from being the person that you want to be. And along my path I discovered this really powerful methodology called Rapid Transformational Therapy. It's the pioneer work of Marisa Peer who's a world renowned therapist. I did some work with her personally for myself to get some of those last little things out of my trunk, and the work was so powerful in such a very short period of time. Literally in a matter of weeks, blocks that I had been trying to move for 20 years were gone.
I’ve been certified by her in her training methodology. I've been one of her graduate trainers and worked with her organization to build some other programs. In doing the work I really found that to give people a holistic experience and to help them move through what I call a bit of a brain detox, right?, I've created what I call my Rapid Rewiring program.
So it's a 30-day program that incorporates Rapid Transformational Therapy, plus my 18 years of coaching experience inside of that 30 days to help my clients identify the blocks that are holding them back at a subconscious level, Frank. We get out of the conscious thinking mind and really get at the root causes at a subconscious level, which runs about 90% of your brain power. We identify it and then we're literally able to rewrite it and rewire the neural pathways in your brain over 30 days with new empowering beliefs, new action steps, new behaviors. Right? So at the end of a 30-day period, my clients have identified the block, eliminated or drastically reduced it, and then created new empowering habits for success. It's really a joyful process to watch.
Frank: So let's bring up something that we deal with in the senior care industry, and maybe you could give some thoughts on how you would work with a son or a daughter or a spouse that's dealing with a loved one with dementia and they're going through a pretty stressful situation and making sure their head is kept on straight to get through what is going to probably continue to be difficult. Any thoughts on how the whole Rapid Rewiring program could assist somebody like that?
Michele: Sure, absolutely. You know, when dealing with very difficult situations like that, it's very, very important for the family members and the caregivers to maintain their balance, their wellbeing so it doesn't compound the situation. So my work can help folks identify and work through the fear, the depression, the anxiety that comes with dealing with those kinds of situations to give them a more grounded and peaceful mindset to help them as they move through working with a family member who is going through dementia. I know how challenging that can be. I've worked with folks who have been in that situation. So giving them a variety of different tools to help them do that.
One of the key components of my work is what I call my transformation recording, Frank. And this is a 30-minute essentially guided meditation, if you will. It drops folks into a very relaxed alpha brainwave state, which is that half-asleep, half-awake state. And in the recording I'm instilling new empowering beliefs and thoughts to help them relax their mind, relax their body, and adopt empowering beliefs that are going to support them and their positive mindset even as they go through a very difficult time.
Frank: Gotcha. So Michelle, I had the honor of hearing you do a seminar. So I got a little advance knowledge on some of the things we're going over. But you talk about somebody that you name Amy who kind of reclaims someone's brain or hijacks thinking. Talk to us a little bit about that if you would.
Michele: Sure. Well Amy is your amygdala, Frank, and your amygdala is part of your brain. It's your fight or flight or freeze mechanism in your brain. I like to call her Amy because if you can give her her own personality, I’ve found that it makes these concepts less abstract. So Amy, your amygdala, is just merely trying to keep you safe and alive and on the planet. That's her directive, is to keep you alive. And so anywhere along your path ... We've all had experiences, good, bad and ugly that have created beliefs about ourselves, how we operate, what's safe, what's not safe, whether we're good enough, strong enough, smart enough, whatever it is. And Amy grabs hold of those beliefs and is like a guard.
So any time you as an adult come up against something that even remotely looks like that belief that you created at some other earlier point in your life, oftentimes in childhood, Amy's like, "Whoa, no, no, no, no, we're not going to go there because that's not safe." She'll divert your attention, create self-sabotaging conversations with yourself, your inner dialogue that will get in your way and "protect you" from doing that thing, whatever that thing is that might actually move you forward to greater success.
When a fear gets triggered, Amy kicks into high gear and they call it the amygdala hijack. Right? It literally takes over your brain and redirects blood from your prefrontal cortex where we have our conscious thinking and into survival mode. So when that happens, it's important for you to be able to pause, and breathe, and get present to where you are literally in your physical space. Like feel your fingers and toes so that you can bring the blood back to that frontal cortex of your brain and be able to make more logical thinking and decisions. Does that make sense?
Frank: Absolutely. Absolutely does. You know, you also discussed some confidence killers. So how can you re first the effects of these various confidence killers to help you in whatever you're trying to get through, whether it be success of your work, or business, or happiness, or just getting through any difficult challenges.
Michele: Sure. Well, through my years of work and study, and even trying to reclaim my own competence after a very challenging situation that happened to me in my career 20 years ago now, I've found that the root cause of a lack of confidence is actually a lack of belief in yourself. So it's low self-esteem and this belief of I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm different. I don't belong. Right? Fill in the blank. Everybody has their own version of it in different ways, shapes, and forms. Right? And so when you can recognize that, Oh, there's this belief in me that says I'm not good enough, for example. Right? Then the shortest path to start to transform that is just lie to your brain. Tell yourself I am good enough.
Because you are. You always have been good enough. You always will be and nothing can ever change that. But somewhere along your path you've decided you weren't. Someone said something, or did something, that made you believe that you weren't good enough. So start telling yourself, I am good enough. Write it on a sticky note. Put it on your computer. Write it on your mirror. Put little love notes all around your house. I am good enough. I'm worthy. I'm deserving of success, of love, of joy. Whatever those words are for you. Whatever those missing pieces are for you. And just tell yourself that, because your brain likes repetition, Frank. So the more you think a thought, the more true that thought becomes for you. So if you've been telling yourself, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not deserving, then your brain believes that, and that becomes your reality. That's the filter that you see life through.
This is a simple yet very powerful way to shift that, to change out that filter. And as you tell yourself, I am enough, I'm worthy, I'm deserving over and over and over again. Inside your mind, make a little song, sing it in your happy little tune when you're driving in your car, whatever. But the more you say that to yourself, literally over time, you'll wake up one day and go, of course I'm enough. Why did I ever think that? And it shifts your reality. It shifts how you perceive things, and it bolsters your confidence and how you move through the world more gracefully and with ease.
Frank: Makes perfect sense. So Michele, tell us a little bit about your book, Breakthrough Healing. I'm sure there's a lot of books that are maybe similar to the subject matter you're talking about. Maybe tell us a little bit how it maybe differs from what's out there?
Michele: Absolutely, Frank. Thanks. So I coauthored this book with several other folks who provide healing in different modalities across the country. Irene Freitas, Wei Houng, Claire Roy, Alexis Brink, and Iris Netzer-Greenfield, all have different specialties in helping people heal. And so in and writing the book, I wanted to be able to share with folks that there are alternatives to heal yourself, to move away from pain and suffering, whether those are mental, emotional, or physical issues to big pharma for example. And big pharma has its place. And I'm here to tell you that your mind is a very powerful place. So in the book I share with folks specifically more about my Rapid Rewiring technique and process and how that can help folks.
So just to give you an insight of how powerful your mind can be, one of my clients that I worked with, he came to me with severe adrenal fatigue. He was a super motivated person. He built a multimillion dollar company by the time he was 27 out of his house. It nearly killed him though. He overworked his body and his adrenals shut down. It destroyed his business and he really wasn't able to work for two, two and a half years when I met him. And he had been in the care of doctors, traditional doctors and naturopathic doctors, and he's one of those folks who's very determined, right?
He would always say, I'm going to crush it, right? I'm going to crush my healing. I'm like, let's reframe that, shall we? And so in working with Chris, we got at the root cause of his overwhelming need to drive and to push through. We work together for 90 days. Right? Some folks I work with 30, 60, or 90 days, but typically we're able to get the root causes of these things that are not only driving them mentally but over driving their body physically as it was in Chris's case. And he had been measuring his blood and his diet, all of that. He'd been monitoring that very closely. So we have before and after blood tests from the work that we did together. And his medical doctor at the end of the time that we worked together was like, wow, you're about 85% back to full health in just 90 days after having worked with all these other folks for two and a half years.
So he was able to create a very dramatic shift in his physical wellbeing because we were able to get at the underlying blocks of him not feeling enough based on the abuse that he had suffered as a child and as a teenager. So those beliefs that he was holding onto had put his body into overdrive that had created these physical challenges. So our mind is a very powerful place. Right? And I'm a big believer that once you understand what the root causes are that creates those driving behaviors, you can shift them and rewire them for better health, wellbeing, and mental peace of mind.
Frank: Right. I know that you've done many seminars and speaking engagements and webinars online, but a big part of your practice is working one-on-one with people. Tell us a little bit about that and how people might be able to reach out to you if they would like to work with you in some way, shape, or form.
Michele: Sure. Well I do all my work virtually over Zoom. So I've worked with people all over the globe. You can visit my website, Nectar N-E-C-T-A-R, consulting.com and I'm happy to have a complimentary and confidential discovery call with you. So you can book a 30-minute call with me. We can take time to talk and you can tell me more about what you're being challenged with, and then I can share with you some of the different ways that I might be of service. We can work one-on-one together to do some of this deep dive work. I also have my Rapid Rewire membership program where each month we tackle a different topic and we have groups, masterclasses, and guest experts, and then a whole bunch of different tools that I've created to support your success in a group setting over time. So there's a variety of different ways that we can work together to help you get at some of those underlying blocks, and get the junk out of your trunk so you can lighten your load, move forward, and have a more joyful life.
Frank: Great. So I understand you're a science geek. So tell us more about that and how that's helped you in working with your clients.
Michele: Sure. So when I first started off as a coach, Frank, I was skeptical if it would really be effective. I really started to dig into the science behind what makes our brains do what they do, and why we respond the way we do as humans. And so I enjoy reading neuroscience things, books, to understand more about neuroplasticity of the brain and how we can rewire our thinking and our thoughts and our behaviors. So our brains are very elastic. It's that use it or lose it principle. So the more you use your brain, the more you can wire new learning pathways in your brain. So I got into the neuroscience of it for me to understand it more. So then I can share it with others so they can see that coaching and Rapid Transformational Therapy and all the different tools that I use, it's not woo woo. It's actually science and science is cool to me.
Frank: Right. And it's quite obvious you're very passionate in the work you do, but what gives you the most joy in the work that you do? I know you do a lot of different things. You do the one-on-one consulting, and seminars and, webinars and all. You educate people, but what gives you the most joy?
Michele: Gosh, what gives me the most joy, Frank, is those moments when I'm working directly with a client and they have that light bulb moment where they’re able to see themselves differently, and change their behavior, which changes how they think of themselves. It's that radiant joy that comes over them. That's what feeds my soul.
Frank: That's great. So we've got a few minutes left here, but maybe if there's anything that you would like to share with our listeners, that maybe I didn't ask you that you'd like to share with them. Any tips that you have? I'm going to leave it an open-ended question for you there. So go ahead and share.
Michele: Sure. Well, as we move through these difficult times, it's important to remind yourself to breathe.If you're finding yourself anxious or worried, just pause and take several deep breaths, breathing in and out to the count of four. Or to the count of four, in; to the count of four, out. And then remind yourself that you are enough. You always have been. You'll always will be. And nothing can ever change that. And just do your best every day. Cause that's all we can do.
And again, please come visit me at nectarconsulting.com. You can connect with me there one-on-one, schedule the discovery call, learn more about my Rapid Rewiring process, or my Rapid Rewiring membership program. I'd love to have you come join. You can get an all-access pass and 14-day trial for my Rapid Rewiring membership for just a dollar. So you can come in and check it out, and see all the goodies that I have in there for you. And you can find my book, Breakthrough Healing always on Amazon. All the proceeds go to the St. Jude's Children Hospital. I like give back as I can. And you'll find me on social channels, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram. Please reach out, say hello. I'd love to connect with you and be of service that I can.
Frank: Do you have an ebook as well? Is that your ebook?
Michele: Oh yes, I actually have several ebooks. If you go to my website you can grab my free ebook, which is called Tapping Into Your Power and Presence. It's a way to help you build your confidence. It comes with a transformation recording. It's free. Just fill out the little form there on the homepage of my website, and grab that and check it out. I love to give stuff away, and so there's plenty of free things on my website for you to indulge in.
Frank: Great. Michele, thank you so much for joining us. Michele Molitor. And thanks for all you do, really appreciate it. And please check out Michele at www.nectar, N-E-C-T-A-R, consulting.com. Michele, again, thanks for joining us on Boomers Today. Really appreciate it.
Michele: Thank you, Frank. It's been my pleasure. Blessings to you all.
Frank: Yes. And I want to thank everybody out there for joining us on Boomers Today. Please, please be safe and we'll talk to everybody next week on Boomers Today.